In Limbo

I’ve been standing too long between a rock and a hard place. The rock has definitely been there longer than I have. It’s been over 25 hours now since rescue operations began but I can’t seem to move. Either the rock has moved or I’ve grown fatter. The second comment is unlikely given that my stomach is already well pinned in. I’m too afraid to breathe deep lest my diaphragm pushes down, and my stomach is separated from the abdomen. I want to enjoy meals when everything is said and done. I don’t want to be physically pushing my food down or eating from a straw.

Due to the extensive standing, I no longer feel my legs. This has been the case for nine hours now. The day before yesterday, I had awoken to the best news yet. My wife was pregnant. After 6 years of trying and getting treatment for everything, the Lord has smiled upon us. I hadn’t fully slept because I kept rubbing my wife’s stomach talking to our child’s embryo. It wasn’t fully formed yet to be a foetus but I already had a name. Kaia if it was a girl and Fid is it was a boy – that’s always been my boy’s name. We had laughed and cried tears of joy. Then we’d prayed and thanked God.

We live in a hilly suburb, very serene and calming because of its micro-climate. My wife had fallen in love with it instantly. I had no choice. She wanted it. I have been paying for the property and its development for six years now. It’d been like 4 months since we moved in. The baby news reminded me of the sweat and sacrifices we’d made.

The other thing that had made that day awesome was that my crush had texted me inviting me out to a date. My instinct was to go and never tell my wife. I didn’t want to be caught in predicaments that would jeopardize my relationship, especially after all we’ve been through. I didn’t want to give her cause for distrust, or have the situation be a constant ridicule whenever am going out. I didn’t have any excuse, so I just said the honest thing I could master – I’ll be late.

The dinner was fantastic, she laughed a lot. She was dressed right, smelled good, hugged me and pecked me. I have to say I was impressed by the way things went. The only problem is, she invited me back to her place. Now, as a married man, it’s always tricky to explain to your wife that you went out with a single lady, especially one whom you have had a documented crush on. The fact that you decided to go to her place, just the two of you complicates issues, regardless of whether something or nothing happened. The fact that there’s no alibi to confirm either of the two is just a worse situation.

Whatever happened over at her place was so intense that time just flew by so fast without my knowledge. When I looked at the bedside clock, it was 3 a.m. In shock I glanced at my phone and the 24 missed calls alone from my wife made me sweat over my already glistening skin. With my blood rushing all over my body in alarming speeds, I rushed to the shower room as she called me back to bed. I don’t remember what happened next because a loud crack and force pushed my lathered body against the bathroom wall next to the faucet.

I regained consciousness to loud sirens and spinning lights, a very cold breeze and lots of wailing. There were loud commands everywhere, but I could only see sideways. In my confusion I reached for my head. I can’t tell you what I felt, I wasn’t myself. The shuttering of my teeth was so loud. When they finally found me, I was in and out of consciousness. They told me a landslide had crushed the town by the hill. When I asked about her, they told me to remain still and talk less to retain my strength. Only my head was truly free, it’s like the earth wanted me to know which part of me needed to be used more often.

In 24 hours, they’d tried to cut through the steel, they’d mowed away layers of concrete and mud. There’d been scares when further slides took place, pushing efforts back a few hours. Apparently a steel rod had lodged itself into my thigh, and the bleeding had made me weak. Being a doctor, I knew by now it was infected, and I’d probably lose it. My wife had come crying, because she’d heard where I was when my phone’s battery had died and her calls were useless. No one told her, she saw my face in the news, when the cameras focused on the rescuer as he shouted, “Another one over here!”. I can imagine her reaction when my dazed face came into focus in front of the screen, in front of the whole world. I cried, I couldn’t believe how bad things had turned.

It’s twenty six hours now since the best day of my life. It’s twenty six hours now since the world took off its pants and did a number two in my face. It’s only been twenty six hours in the cold, surrounded by murk and mud, sandwiched between fate and regret. I have been exposed to the world, my nudity just but a reflection of my resignation. Apparently, she (my crush) had died. She had died begging me back to bed. Caught underneath the rubble and mud, unable to save herself. I was left alone to bear it all. Here I was, stuck between a rock and a hard place, uncertain of times ahead.