The Now Me

Everyone is broken. I’m broken. You are broken. Damn, even our quintessence is broken. We are creations, born of mass and lost in dust. We wear and we tear, we are made to live, not last. We can only claim our small share of things, our identities. Some people have more than one, but it’s considered abnormal, so are some with one.

We all start out crying and kicking. At our new found freedom, at discovering the flow of air into our lungs, the distinction of space and light. Then we crawl, reaching out to the glitter of a bee’s wings, not knowing its sting is a weapon. We fall when we walk, hit things every now and then, but keep on trying. It’s when we grow that we see lines, boarders and places that change us. We discover and lose parts of ourselves, experience highs and lows, becoming a fluctuating wave of tangles and bungles.

You can’t judge me by what am doing. You can’t judge me for what am doing. Neither can I you. Our conscience was meant to judge oneself, to define your journey. It’s become a weaponized tool for shaming and taming, a component to infer our shortcomings to others.

I’ve seen my fair share of blood. I’ve felt my quota of shame. I’ve lost a few close lives. I’ve drowned in sorrow, disappointments and frustration. I’ve had my load of mistakes. I’ve had some wins. I no longer worry about my past, neither do I of the present.

Everything happens because it should. Nothing happens as an accident, except accidents. In the essence of the universe, even they aren’t. We may not choose to walk into a situation, but if it happens it means it was meant to be. What matters ever is the here and now. Whether it’s wrong or right isn’t an issue. If am doing it, it’s meant to be. If it’s happening, it’s how it is. You can change your mind, your situation, because you were meant to. Even change is a factor, an element of time and space, that is underwritten in the universal law.

Tomorrow will not be lived today, neither will yesterday for it’s past. You can only enjoy it when you make it there or you already did. The here and now is my life. The past is just but a story, the making of the new me. The me of here and now.